9 Essential Habits of Remarkably Effective People

There’s a huge biggest difference between being efficient and being effective.

Efficient people are well organized and competent. They check things off their to-do list. They complete projects. They get stuff done.

Effective people do all that … but they check the right things off their to-do list. They complete the right projects. They get the right stuff done.

They execute and produce what makes the biggest difference for their business … and for themselves.

Here are some of the traits of remarkably effective people, and why they’re so successful:

1. They always start with goals.

Effort without a genuine purpose is just effort. Effective people don’t just know what to do–they know why. They have a long-term goal. They have short-term goals that support their long-term goals.

In short, they have purpose–and that purpose informs everything they do. That’s why remarkable people appear so dedicated and organized and consistently on-task. They’re not slaves to a routine; they’re simply driven to reach their goals and quick to eliminate roadblocks and put aside distractions that stand in their way.

Remarkably effective people set their goals first. So decide what success means to you. (Your definition of success is and should be different from everyone else’s.) Success has been defined as the continuous realization of a worthy objective.

You’ll find it’s easy to stay focused and be effective when you truly care about what you hope to achieve.

Even so, once they establish a goal, remarkably effective people don’t focus solely on that goal; instead …

2. Then they create systems.

If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal is to build a successful business. Your system consists of your processes for sales, marketing, fulfillment, operations, etc.

A goal is great for planning and mapping out what success looks like; a system is great for actually making progress toward that goal.

Remarkably effective people know a goal can provide direction and even push them forward in the short term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win.

Everyone has goals; committing to a system makes all the difference in achieving that goal.

3. They believe in themselves.

Diligence isn’t easy. Hard work is hard. Pushing forward when successes are few and far between takes optimism and self-belief.

That’s why busy people quickly give up and effective people keep going.

Remarkably effective people embrace the fact (and it is a fact) that the only way to get to where they want to go is to try … and keep on trying. They know that eventually they will succeed, because …

4. They believe they are in control of their lives.

Many people feel luck–or outside forces–has a lot to do with success or failure. If they succeed, luck favored them; if they fail, luck was against them.

Luck certainly does play a part, but effective people don’t hope for good luck or worry about bad luck. They assume success is totally within their control. If they succeed, they caused it; if they fail, they caused that, too.

Remarkably effective people waste zero mental energy worrying about what might happen to them–they put all their effort into making things happen.

They know they can never control luck … but they can always control themselves.

5. And yet they also embrace “random.”

When your nose is to the grindstone, all you can see is the grindstone. And that means you miss opportunities to spot something new, try something different, or go off on a fruitful tangent.

Effective people stay almost totally on-task. Remarkably effective people build in time and opportunity to experience new things, try new methods, and benefit from happy accidents.

They’re not always trying to reinvent the wheel. But they’re more than happy to adopt someone else’s perfectly functioning wheel.

6. They find happiness in the success of others.

Great teams win because their most talented members are willing to sacrifice to help others succeed.

That’s why great companies are made up of employees who help each other, know their roles, set aside their personal goals, and value team success over everything else.

Where does that attitude come from? You!

Focus only on yourself and ultimately you’ll be by yourself. To be remarkably effective, find fulfillment in helping other people succeed. In the process you will succeed, too–in more ways than one.

7. They use their goals to make decisions automatic.

In a podcast, Tim Ferriss described how Herb Kelleher, the CEO of Southwest Airlines, makes so many decisions every day. Kelleher applies a simple framework to every issue: Will this help Southwest be the low-cost provider? If so, the answer is yes. If not, no.

Remarkably effective people apply the same framework to the decisions they make. “Will this help me reach my goal? If not, I won’t do it.”

If you feel like you’re constantly struggling to make decisions, take a step back. Think about your goals; your goals will help you make decisions.

That’s why remarkably effective people are so decisive. Indecision is born of a lack of purpose: When you know what you truly want, most of your decisions can–and should–be almost automatic.

8. They don’t multitask.

Plenty of research says multitasking doesn’t work. (Some research says multitasking actually makes you stupid.)

Maybe you don’t agree.

Maybe you’re wrong. Try to do two things at once and you’ll do both half-assed.

Remarkably effective people focus on one thing at a time. They do that one thing incredibly well … and then they move on to whatever is next. And they do that incredibly well.

9. They freely ask for help.

Busy people ask for help getting something done. Remarkably effective people ask for help not just because they need help but also because by asking they show respect for the other person and trust his or her experience, skill, or insight.

Mutual respect is the foundation of every solid relationship–and the best way to create mutual respect is to first show respect.

Want to be remarkably effective? Surround yourself with people who trust and motivate and inspire you–and in turn are inspired by you.

Even if you don’t achieve all your goals, your life will be infinitely richer.

Have a great week ahead!

Culled from the Time Blogs: www.time.com

YOU CAN BE BIGGER

You have the power to live a bigger life. Challenge yourself. Take the risk! Become daring. There are things in your life that are no longer you and you know it in your heart. There is no law that says you have to carry the whole world on your shoulders. And the emptiness and lack of fulfillment inside is getting too much to bear.

It’s time to take care of you. Live your dream. Take off the cape. Do what you know and not what you feel. You deserve to live too! You have needs too! Give yourself a mental break and take time to get centered, grounded and reconnected with your spirit. Allowing your time to be wasted with people who are not serious is not fruitful and it’s stressful. Staying in a job where you are not appreciated or valued or validated is draining and toxic. Hanging on to a relationship that has been dead a long time ago takes a toll. Take a deep breath and tap into the courage to make the tough decision. Things might be difficult for a while, but don’t underestimate yourself.

You will survive. You always have! Life is on your side. You’re more powerful and stronger than you give yourself credit for being. No guts, no glory. You have one life to live, live the life you love and love the life you live. Family and friends may attempt to discourage you. Tell them thank you, I got that, and move on. At the end of the day, it’s your life. Keep in mind, it’s lonely at the top, but you eat better! You deserve to be happy. You deserve to make your life a daring adventure and to manifest your GREATNESS!

....Excerpts from Les Brown

5 WAYS TO GO FROM UNEMPLOYED TO BECOMING AN ENTREPRENEUR

Entrepreneurs have been variously defined to mean several things that sometimes it becomes hard for some people to really understand in a layman's term what entrepreneur is really all about. Well am about to make it easy for you and give you few steps on how to become one yourself.

The reason why most people suffer effects of unemployment today and dwell in poverty could be found in simple answers such as lack of information, knowledge and inability to take action.

You can get out of your situation today, now just by doing some of the things you will learn here today.

First, let me define entrepreneur in the simplest way any one could understand it. Entrepreneurs or an entrepreneur is someone who is able to identify a problem, provide a solution to the problem and make money doing so. Yes, it’s that simple! For instance, the guy who started the sachet water business saw the problem (need) that people get tasty and needed water outside their homes and he thought of a good way to package water and sell to the public, and that’s how sachet water –“pure water” birthed. Today sachet water business is one of the thriving businesses in the country.

So, here are a few tips on how you can become a problem solver and earn money doing it – becoming an entrepreneur:

1.  Task yourself: Task yourself on a daily bases to be a problem solver, by so doing look out for problems or services that are needed in your community, village or area and think of how to provide solutions on them. You can begin by taking daily walks around your vicinity, listen to what people complain most about and once you have identified this need, you are sure on your way of becoming an entrepreneur as soon as you can solve those needs by providing services to it.

2.  Solve a problem: Just as the first nugget suggests, everyone on earth is created to solve a problem. However, some are also busy creating problems. In the end you are either solving or creating a problem, either way. So talk yourself into knowing what part you really want to play and begin to play that part, either as a problem solver or a problem creator, whichever way ensure to make money out of it.

3.  Take Action: The good book said “faith without work is dead” so also an idea without action is useless. You could have an idea that can save the world from so much chaos and trouble, but if you do not take steps to work on those ideas and bring it to fruition, then they are as good as useless. Your ideas should inspire you to act on them and have the courage to push through the challenges that comes along the way to success.

4.  Never Quit: Always have it at the back of your mind that nothing good comes or works easily. You are bound to face rejections and challenges including though times, but have it at the back of your mind that those situations are actually what paves way for success to follow. No pain no glory!

5.  Believe: The truth is nothing has ever worked in life without one first believing either in one’s self, ability or imaginations. God created the universe and all there-in believing. So also you can if you believe. The Wright Brothers believed. The men who went to the moon believed and ad infinitum. You must believe in something for it to work for you. So, believe you can succeed, believe you can make it, and believe nothing can stop you and that way you will fly higher than you ever thought. You may not have the money to start the business you are currently incubating the idea, but your simple believe in that idea and having the courage to share it to the right people might provide what you need to have it established. Keep believing!

Nwokedi Don Emeka is an entrepreneurial consultant, seasoned motivational speaker and advocate for youth leadership. He is the CEO of Swing Consult Ltd and the founder of Agape Leadership Centre for The Children and Youth- ALCCY

BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE

I have come to discover the reason why most people fail in life, either in their career, family, business or academics. Being successful in life takes just being responsible for your actions and its outcomes. This is just one of the simple secrets of succeeding in life that people over look, or don’t bother paying attention to.

Even the ants are responsible for their own survival

A lot of individuals today are entangled in a life of blame. They attribute everything that happens to them to someone else’s fault and thus go ahead to blame someone for the crisis in their life and for their failures. Some blame their parents for their poverty or even marriage crisis and the blame excuses keep heaping up for every single circumstance.

Your level of responsibility simply underscores your level of success in life. This is applicable to whatever you do or whatever venture you undertake in life.

To change the way things work in your life or to overcome the crisis in your life, whatever it may be, you simply need to take responsibility and begin to walk away from that situation.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY: Taking responsibility simply means being the captain of your own ship. You determine the path your ship takes and not wait or allow any one shove you around or determine your purpose or path in life. Some people today have lived all their lives serving other persons purposes and allow them determine what course they take in life.

To be responsible and to be able to determine how your life turns out, you must take charge of your life. You must begin your life looking inward to know what you want and how you will get it. You MUST not allow external influences to affect or alter the course to your destination. Consider sailors in a vast sea with only a compass to direct their path. No matter how big or how life threatening the storm is, they still maintain their path sailing through the storm, because they know that drifting from that path will be catastrophic. They may never find their way home- they will simply be lost in the sea and probably perish at sea without help in sight.

The same thing is applicable to you, if you do not become responsible for your life and carve a purpose for it. You will be like a ship lost at sea. You will be simply lost in life. Living without purpose and waiting for death to come calling.

You need to take charge of your marriage or relationship and be in charge. Being in charge doesn't mean being domineering or bossy. It means recognizing your role as a partner and accepting where you have made mistakes, take charge, apologize (where you have to) and be more understanding.

WHATS IS YOUR IMPACT? In your career or business, you must decide what your impact is. You cannot succeed if you do not make any impact on your clients or customers. How well do you appreciate and offer your services to them. A great entrepreneur once said “the customer can fire the chief executive down to the last man by deciding to spend his money somewhere else”. It simply means you can be out of business if people decide not to patronize your business. So, to keep your business yielding, you must invest in your clients and be responsible for their happiness.

Your impact on people you meet or deal with, even your friends and family members determine your place in their life and how well they regard you. Every human being is what he is, based on his or her impact in the life of others.

THE 3 RULES OF LIFE: Someone wrote about the three rules in life. It states;

1.    If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it.

2.  If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.

3.  If you do not step forward, you will always remain in the same place.

I think this is apt in defining some irresponsible people. Irresponsible in the sense that they do not are not responsible for their lives. You have to go for what you want, ask questions, and take a step forward in your life to get to your deserved destination. Some people will never ask, and they will never learn or know, and thus remain where they are and sometimes a burden to other.

In the end, whatever is the outcome of your life, no one will be held responsible but you. Your failures and successes in life depend on how much control you have on your life. Thus how responsible are you in making decisions that affects your life positively or negatively.

NaijaEntrepreneur: TIMEIS LIFE- Investing time for a life of fulfillm...

NaijaEntrepreneur: TIMEIS LIFE- Investing time for a life of fulfillm...: TIME IS LIFE- Investing time for a life of fulfillment It’s been said many times in the axiom that time is money. For many business me...

TIME IS LIFE- Investing time for a life of fulfillment

It’s been said many times in the axiom that time is money. For many business men, women and entrepreneurs, this goes well to form the nucleus of the policies and principles that drives their passion and motivation.

For some, money may not be the ultimate goal of their lives. Then what does time entails for them? Knowing the place and import of time in your in one’s life will change everything one have come to know about time management, and set one on a new pedestal and how to value your time and invest it more wisely.

Photo by Swing Media

Well, what if you are to learn that time is not just money but LIFE! Wouldn't you value time just as you value your life, when you come to the understanding that your life is tied to time? And as much as you waste precious time you are wasting your life and the more you invest your time, you are investing richly in your life.

Ever wondered why people seek a second chance to make amends or perhaps do what they should have done but never did? Or why people regret some of the things they did or didn't do and simply wished they could rewind the hands of time to make it possible again?

Unfortunately, time, once it’s gone is never recovered. The reason why most people fail in life is simply because they didn't know how to invest the time they had, and they wasted a lot of their it, doing the wrong things.  The value of time in your life is tied to what you do with every single seconds of time.  What you give your time to, determines what life will give to you. To be a successful entrepreneur, you need to invest in time doing what entrepreneurs do- innovating, solving problems and needs, breaking new frontiers and barriers. To be a loving husband and good father, you must spend time with your wife, your kids, to love and care for them. Successful leaders hardly had enough time. 24 hours is usually not enough for them. But see a loser he, doesn't know what to do with time. He simply waits it out driving himself to the pit of failure, sadness and an unfulfilled life.

Even the good book in Eccl. 3 vs. 1 expounded the importance of time in life

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot……”

God did everything in the principle of time even with creation.

BEGINNING A NEW LIFE OF TIME

What are you doing with your time? Are you simply waiting out your time doing the wrong things and driving yourself to failure and sadness? Here are a few words on how you can begin a new life of time.

Begin with the end in mind: There are no fast lanes or quick fixes in life. Whatever you desire to be or to achieve must be propagated and cultivated in time. (Eccl. 3 vs 2 ….…a time to plant and a time to reap). To begin with the end in mind is to create for yourself the future you deserve not desire. (People mostly get what they deserve, not desire) and then plant the seed(s) that will grow into your deserved future. Of course working through every details and goals you must have set for yourself to achieve this deserved future.

A step into time: A Chinese proverbs that has been communized says that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. If you have been wasting your life sitting around doing nothing for it, now is the time to step into a new life of taking responsibility for your time and life. Little drops of water they say makes a mighty ocean. Begin little by little. If you want to become successful, see beyond what you see. See opportunities in every problem you encounter or witness. Even your present situation is an opportunity for you to take a new course and change your destiny.

Invest time in thinking out ideas. Look around you and see what problems people face. Think of a solution to the problem and help people with the solutions. Become innovative, be different, there is no harm in it, but be positive.

A life time investment: The tree you see today was planted by someone yesterday. The secret of a successful life is in a life time of investment. An athlete invests time in training. An author invests time in writing. A professor, invested time in studying and researching. Successful entrepreneurs invest time and every penny to their ideas and ventures. What are you investing today? It took Thomas Edison more than a thousand times to discover the light bulb. It takes time to realize every dream. Success is redefined to mean a progressive realization of a worthy ideal. Success is progressive- thus time after time. If you need a million naira to start a business, begin now to save to realize that dream. It doesn't matter how many years it takes you, what matters is that you are working towards your dream and actualizing it. Once, my mentor told me that life is like a marathon race where everyone is a competitor. In this race so many will have excuses for not making it first to the finish line. Some will stop to take a pee, some to excrete, others to rest their legs. He said, to make it you have to continue. If you have to pee and excrete on your body do so. People will laugh at you for peeing and excreting on your clothes, but it doesn't matter. When you have made it first to the finish line, the same people who mocked and laughed at you are same people who will lift you high and celebrate your victory with you.

In sum, remember that the quality of your time will depend on the quality of time you spend. Spend your time being a couch potato the quality of your life will be that of an obese sad person. This as simple as it goes, your time is your life, spend it wisely!

Shalom!

Deserve: merit: to have earned or be worthy of something Desire: request something: to wish for and request something

THINK OF GIVING UP? REASON WHY YOU SHOULD THINK OTHERWISE

And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

—Galatians 6:9

Are you on a precipice? Do you think you are losing it? Are you on the verge of giving up totally? You think nothing is working and your prayers are not being answered? Well, hear this; you may just well be close to your break through!

Perhaps, also you have been asking the wrong questions and doing the wrong things or not even doing anything at all; sure, that's why nothing seems to move for you. You need to know where you fall under the later questions and begin to move on the right paradigm. The solution to your predicament is not in giving up. The solution is in hanging on and changing your strategies and listening to the right words your heart

Photo by Swing Consult Media

s speaks to you.

History is rich with people, who today are life changers and multi-millionaires who once in their life time found themselves in the same situation you are in now, but decided to take action rather than let empathy, pity and their circumstances engulf them. As a matter of fact, their hopeless and helpless situation provided them a means (courage) out of their quagmire. Always remember that your destiny, your future, your purpose can only be shaped by you and no one else. First, you have to realize this fact and then quit blaming your parents, your friend, brother or whoever for being the cause or your problems. Look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, " i am where i am because i choose to be there". Then ask yourself, do you really like where you are at the moment? If the answer is NO! Then move away from the position you are in right now and start moving towards where you deserve (not desire) to be. Only you can move yourself to that place, no one else can.

Well, you may be asking, how can i move myself to where i want to be? How do i even know which road to take to get to where i deserve to be? I will oblige to all these questions in the next part of this newsletter. but mean while, let us talk of you, yes you who is doing the good work and seeing no result. 

It doesn't matter how long you have committed to that good cause, job, idea, business etc and it's not working out and yielding the results you need. What matters is that you are doing something worthwhile. As an entrepreneur, one virtue you need is "PATIENCE". To know that before you begin to reap from any crop, you must first of all plant and the seed must die and decay, then start the process of growing to the finally stage where you can reap a good harvest. Take note of the words, die and decay. Yes, whatever seedling you put in the ground, must first die, decay to now have a shoot. It is the natural phenomena of life. Even the good book says, "unless a grain of seed falls to the ground and dies, it shall not bear fruit" - paraphrasing. Again, if you must gain your life, you must first of all lose it. Just as you can’t go to heaven without first dying.

So, your period of waiting is your period of dying and decaying and the beginning of the process of the maturity of the fruits your want to reap in your business, idea or venture. Be patience and in due time all things will fall it is place.

- Don Emeka Nwokedi

Chief Editorr, NaijaEntrepreneur.com

www.naijaentrepreneur.blogspot.com

How to Actually be Successful in Achieving Your 2014 Goals.

Change is hard. You’ve probably noticed that.

We all want to become better people—stronger and healthier, more creative and more skilled, a better friend or family member. But even if we get really inspired and start doing things better, it’s tough to actually stick to new behaviors. It’s more likely that this time next year you’ll be doing the same thing than performing a new habit with ease. Why is that? And is there anything you can do to make change easier?

Identity-Based Habits

The key to building lasting habits is focusing on creating a new identity first. Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a mirror image of the type of person you believe that you are (either consciously or subconsciously).

To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself.

Imagine how we typically set goals. We might start by saying “I want to lose weight” or “I want to get stronger.” If you’re lucky, someone might say, “That’s great, but you should be more specific.”

So then you say, “I want to lose 20 pounds” or “I want to squat 300 pounds.” These goals are centered around our performance or our appearance. Performance and appearance goals are great, but they aren’t the same as habits. If you’re already doing a behavior, then these types of goals can help drive you forward. But if you’re trying to start a new behavior, then I think it would be far better to start with an identity-based goal.

The image I created below shows the difference between identity-based goals and performance and appearance-based goals.

 

The interior of behavior change and building better habits is your identity. Each action you perform is driven by the fundamental belief that it is possible. So if you change your identity (the type of person that you believe that you are), then it’s easier to change your actions.

The reason why it’s so hard to stick to new habits is that we often try to achieve a performance or appearance-based goal without changing our identity. Most of the time we try to achieve results before proving to ourselves that we have the identity of the type of person we want to become. It should be the other way around.

The Recipe for Sustained Success

Changing your beliefs isn’t nearly as hard as you might think. There are two steps: Decide the type of person you want to be and prove it to yourself with small wins.

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to start with incredibly small steps. The goal is not to achieve results at first; the goal is to become the type of person who can achieve those things. For example, a person who works out consistently is the type of person who can become strong. Develop the identity of someone who works out first, and then move on to performance and appearance later. Start small and trust that the results will come as you develop a new identity.

Here are five examples of how you can make this work in real life.

1. Want to lose weight?
Identity: Become the type of person who moves more every day.

Small win: Buy a pedometer. Walk 50 steps when you get home from work. Tomorrow, walk 100 steps. The day after that, 150 steps. If you do this five days per week and add 50 steps each day, then by the end of the year, you’ll be walking over 10,000 steps per day.

2. Want to become a better writer?
Identity: Become the type of person who writes 1,000 words every day.

Small win: Write one paragraph each day this week.

3. Want to become strong?
Identity: Become the type of person who never misses a workout.

Small win: Do pushups every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

4. Want to be a better friend?
Identity: Become the type of person who always stays in touch.

Small win: Call one friend every Saturday. If you repeat the same people every three months, you’ll stay close with 12 old friends throughout the year.

5. Want to be taken seriously at work?
Identity: Become the type of person who is always on time.

Small win: Schedule meetings with an additional 15–minute gap between them so that you can go from meeting to meeting and always show up early.

What is your identity?
In my experience, when you want to become better at something, proving your identity to yourself is far more important than getting amazing results. This is especially true at first.

If you want to get motivated and inspired, then feel free to watch a YouTube video, listen to your favorite song, and do P90X. But don’t be surprised if you burn out after a week. You can’t rely on being motivated. You have to become the type of person you want to be, and that starts with proving your new identity to yourself.

Most people (myself included) will want to become better this year. Many of us, however, will set performance and appearance-based goals in hopes that they will drive us to do things differently. If you’re looking to make a change, then I say stop worrying about results and start worrying about your identity. Become the type of person who can achieve the things you want to achieve. Build the habit now. The results can come later.

16 Reasons You’re Succeeding in Life (Even If You Don’t Feel You Are)

culled from THE MIND UNLEASHED

“It’s often hard to tell just how close you are to success.”

At times we all feel less than successful.  We feel like we’re running in place, struggling to make even the slightest bit of progress.  And while this is a perfectly normal feeling, you have to ultimately break free from it and see yourself and your life in a more positive light.

The key is to pay attention to the small things.  Just because you’re not where you want to be, doesn’t mean you’re a failure.  In fact, quite the opposite is true.  To be truly happy and successful today doesn’t mean you don’t desire more in the future, it means you are sincerely thankful for what you have already accomplished and patient for everything yet to come.

Every morning when you wake up, think of three things that are going well in your life at the moment.  As you fall asleep every night, fill your mind with an appreciation for all the small things that went well during the day.  Examine your daily successes.

Give the power of your thinking to the positive influences in your life, and they will grow stronger and more influential every day.  Remind yourself of what works well and why, and you’ll naturally find ways to make lots of other things work well too.  The most efficient way to enjoy more success in life is not to obsess yourself with what hasn’t worked, but instead to extend and expand upon the success you already know.

Here are some much-needed reminders – sixteen good reasons you’re already succeeding in life:You are walking your own path, not anyone else’s. – One of the most foundational sources of both success and happiness is simply being comfortable with who you really are.  Not trading your reality for a role or your truth for an act.  Not giving up your freedom of thought.  Not putting on a mask.  So never let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop you.  If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must 

You are gradually working through your fears. – As you know, running from fear is a race you’ll never win.  In fact, what you’re afraid of dealing with is often precisely what will set you free.  So keep doing what you’ve been doing – take another step forward today.  Don’t let your fear decide your future.  Don’t let it shut you down.  Instead, let it wake you up!  Take chances and indulge in the excitement.  Tell yourself that the fear of suffering is far worse than the suffering itself.  Convince yourself that everything you want is on the other side of fear.  Because it is.  (Read Start.)

You have not let failure stop you. – Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading toward success.  Oftentimes our greatest insight comes from our failure, not from our accomplishments.  It’s a matter of taking each lesson and stepping forward with it.  At the end of the day, whether you choose to go with it, flow with it, resist it, change it, or hide from it, life goes on.  If what you did today didn’t turn out as you hoped, tomorrow is a new opportunity try again, or to do something totally different.  What’s important is to realize that you have a choice.

You learn something new and grow stronger every day. – To find the best path forward we must occasionally stray from it.  There are no wrong turns; only paths we didn’t know we were meant to walk.  In the end, to be a success you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to remain perfectly capable of improving.  Keep letting your mistakes strengthen you.  Life is a series of little journeys.  Allow each step to be a teachable moment.  And don’t confuse your path with your destination.  Just because it’s stormy sometimes, doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine.

You have overcome some considerable obstacles. – Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.  Nothing!  There is a benefit and a blessing hidden in the folds of every experience and every outcome.  Consider the possibility that the little obstacles in your life’s path are not obstacles at all, but stepping-stones to amazing places.

You do your best to love what is. – A big part of success and happiness is not getting everything you want, but mindfully wanting what you get.  After all, stress is resistance to what is.  Continue to accept what comes to you totally and completely, so you can appreciate it, learn from it and then let it go.  Sometimes the best possible response is simply allowing yourself to be at peace with what is, rather than wishing for, and bemoaning, what is not.  It’s about doing the best you can with the hand you’ve been dealt.

You try to be as present as possible. – We all have two lives.  And the second one starts now, when we realize that we only have one.  Really, nothing is worth more than today.  Because you can’t change yesterday or accurately predict tomorrow, but you can ruin today – your real life – by worrying about those two illusory eternities.  So stay present and focus on what you can create today.  Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.  (Read The Power of Now.)

You love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of everyone else loving you. – Putting yourself first does not mean being “selfish.”  It means being self-aware.  It means never forgetting to love yourself, too.

You don’t judge people. – People are sometimes too quick to judge, but slow to correct themselves.  You know this and you graciously do the opposite.  It’s impressive, really.  Because it’s much easier to judge people than it is to understand them.  Understanding takes extra kindness and patience, and this “extra” is worth it.  This “extra” makes a big difference in the end.

You are the reason some people smile. – Do not miss a chance – not one single, tiny opportunity – to tell someone how wonderful they are and how beautiful they are, inside and out.

You have incredible people in your life. – Your capacity to be both effective and happy is directly related to the quality of people whom most closely surround you every single day.  Having just one or two of these people a phone call away is truly a priceless blessing.  These relationships are worth celebrating.

You have been selfless in your closest relationships. – Almost every immoral action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive.  It is a trait we hate in other people but often justify in ourselves.  The fact that you have made sacrifices for people you love is remarkable in every way.  I know it’s not easy.  It’s one of the very hardest parts of loving someone – you have to give things up for them.  And sometimes, you even have to give them up, selflessly.

You have given up doing things for others out of guilt. – Sometimes we give in to our loved one’s requests out of guilt.  But we need to stop feeling guilty for not giving the people we care about everything they want.  It’s sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but we foster the attitude of entitlement in our lives and relationships when we are ruled by a guilty conscience.  It’s OK to say “no” to friends and family sometimes.  You know this, so just keep doing what you know is right, and never let false guilt get the best of you.

You aren’t overspending to impress or satisfy others. – I think it’s good for our friends and family to hear us say, “I can’t afford that” or “We will have to save for it.”  Because that’s real life.  We don’t have all the money in the world to buy everything we could ever want.  If you think about it, I bet you’ve known families before who are working multiple jobs to drive luxury cars and keep their kids in expensive extracurricular activities, when honestly, everyone would be happier and better off with more family and friendship time and less financial stress.

You respect yourself enough to never let anyone walk all over you. – A simple reminder, but so very important:  Never, ever submit your self-worth or moral values to a relationship.  True love and friendship can flower only under the sun of mutual respect.  Some people may try to trample your garden and walk all over you, but you don’t have to sit there and take it.  Period.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
You know you can’t please everyone, and you don’t try. – That’s right.  Keep standing strong.  Don’t let the negative opinions of others derail you.  Ultimately, there are two kinds of people – those who are a drain on your energy and creative force, and those who give you energy and support your growth.  Avoid the first kind.  May the bridges you burn light your way.  Just be happy, be honest and be true to yourself every day.  If others don’t like it, let them be.  Success in life isn’t about pleasing everyone.

AFTERTHOUGHTS

If you can’t check-off every point from this list, no big deal.  This list is just a rough guideline.  We all need our own time to travel our own distance, our own way.  But keep in mind, the principle still applies:

Success is not a skill; it’s a persistent attitude.  It’s not a place you arrive at; it’s a process you live through.  It’s what you do every day.  It’s what you are doing now…

You are succeeding in life.  You just have to believe it.

THE FLOOR IS YOURS…

What would you add to the list?  What’s one successful, positive part of your life that you often overlook?  Please leave a comment below and let us know
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